Barbie Standup on The Year of the Doll

The Year of the Doll

Barbie Standup at the Santa Clarita Comedy Club

Well, well, well, folks, it seems like 2023 was quite the year, and not just for me, your favorite fashionista, Barbie! No, it was, as they say, “The Year of the Doll.” Now, I’ve got to admit, I always knew I was a star, but this year, I had some doll-tastic company!

First things first, let’s talk about the dynamic duo that took the box office by storm – Barbenheimer! It was like the clash of the titans, but with dolls. The whole world was buzzing about it, and with the strikes and all, it was up to you, the audience, to pick a side. And let me settle the debate once and for all – you should’ve watched Oppenheimer first! Trust me, I’ve got great taste. Both films broke records, and I must say, I was thrilled to be a part of a pro-women film. We dolls can do anything, even conquer Hollywood past the age of 40!

But hold on to your tiaras because I wasn’t the only doll making waves in 2023. Dolls were everywhere, and I mean everywhere! From Cabbage Patch documentaries to the creepy M3gan doll that kicked off the year. Now, I’ve seen my fair share of horror films, but M3gan took the cake. She’s like that kid sister who scares the daylights out of you but without any feminist agenda. She torments, she terrifies, and she may or may not meet a gruesome end. Dolls, am I right?

Then came Saw X, featuring the one and only Jigsaw, our favorite vigilante doll. Remember that Nicole Kidman AMC ad parody? Classic! AMC might not have been too thrilled, but it was an iconic pop culture moment.

And speaking of real-life dolls, Taylor Swift graced the stage, showcasing her different “eras” all across the country. It was like a doll fashion show on steroids! And let’s not forget about Britney Spears and her memoir. Now, there’s a doll with a story to tell, and there’s even a bidding war for the movie rights. Hollywood loves a good doll tale!

But wait, there’s more! Sofia Coppola’s “Priscilla” turned the Elvis and Priscilla Presley story on its head. Nope, Elvis didn’t do what you thought he did with young Priscilla. Instead, he kept her like a doll in his room, only bringing her out when he felt like it. Talk about a twist in the tale!

And finally, 2023 wrapped up with Yorgos Lanthimos’ “Poor Things.” Imagine a real-life doll coming to life, moving like one of those life-size Barbies, and even wetting herself like Betsy Wetsy. She even ends up working at a brothel in Paris, and let’s just say, “jumping furiously” isn’t as fun as it sounds when it’s a job.

Now, I can’t explain why dolls took over 2023, but maybe it had something to do with feeling like we were all under someone else’s control. Whatever the reason, it was a year of doll domination in the movies. And while Mattel has plans for more doll movies, including Polly Pocket, I doubt they’ll ever capture the doll mania of 2023. It truly was the Barbie dreamhouse for dolls, and I was just happy to be a part of it, bringing a bit of plastic fabulousness to the big screen!

Let’s Escape the Doll Invasion…

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk about the year 2023, a year that could only be described as “The Year of the Doll.” Now, I may be just a plastic doll, but even I couldn’t escape the doll invasion that took over the big screen. You see, 2023 wasn’t just about me, Barbie; it was a year when dolls of all shapes and sizes decided to make their mark in Hollywood.

First, let’s talk about the double-feature sensation of the year – Barbenheimer. It was a showdown that had everyone buzzing, and trust me, SAG and the WGA strike or not, the audiences were ready for some doll drama. The question on everyone’s lips was, “Which film should you view first?” Well, let me settle that debate right now – it’s Oppenheimer, folks. Trust me; I’ve got great taste in movies. Both films shattered records, and I must say, I was proud to be a part of a pro-women film. It’s about time we dolls showed the world what we’re made of, and I don’t just mean plastic!

But hold on, I wasn’t the only doll in town. Oh no, dolls were popping up everywhere in 2023. There was the Cabbage Patch documentary, “Billion Dollar Babies,” which gave us a behind-the-scenes look at the cabbage patch craze. And let’s not forget the psychotic doll that started the year, M3gan. She may not have had a feminist message, but she sure knew how to cause a scare. She tormented, she scared barking dogs and nosy neighbors, and she even left us wondering if she’d ever truly die. Dolls, am I right?

Then came Saw X, with Jigsaw, the vigilante doll. Remember that parody of Nicole Kidman’s AMC ad? It caused quite a stir, and AMC wasn’t too happy about it. But hey, it’s all in good fun, right?

And speaking of real-life dolls, Taylor Swift took the stage, presenting her different “eras” on tour. It was like a doll fashion show on steroids. And let’s not forget Britney Spears’ memoir, “The Woman in Me.” That’s one doll’s story that’s got everyone talking, and there’s even a bidding war for the movie rights. Hollywood loves a good doll tale!

But wait, there’s more. Sofia Coppola’s “Priscilla” turned the Elvis and Priscilla Presley story on its head. No, Elvis didn’t do what you thought he did with young Priscilla. Instead, he kept her in his room like a doll, only bringing her out to play when he felt like it. Talk about a twist!

And finally, we wrap up the year with Yorgos Lanthimos’ “Poor Things,” where an infant’s brain ends up in the body of an adult woman. She becomes a real-life doll, moving around like one of those life-size Barbies. She even ends up working at a brothel in Paris, and let’s just say, she discovers that “jumping furiously” isn’t as fun as it sounds when it’s a job.

Now, I can’t explain why dolls were all the rage in 2023, but maybe it had something to do with the world feeling like it was under someone else’s control. Whatever the reason, it was a year of doll domination in the movies. And while Mattel has plans for more doll movies, including Polly Pocket, I doubt they’ll ever capture the doll mania of 2023. It truly was the Barbie dreamhouse for dolls, and I was just happy to be a part of it, bringing a bit of plastic fabulousness to the big screen!

Originally posted 2023-12-31 08:25:09.