Joelle “Cricket” Montgomery — Stunt Coordinator, Barbie’s Martian Combat Ballet Choreographer
Role: Designing intergalactic action sequences in high heels and hyper-feminist philosophy
*Byline: Trent Wheeley, Texas Film Torque
“You think John Wick has moves? Try doing that in a glitter corset and gravity boots.”
Joelle “Cricket” Montgomery, 42, is the brains and bruises behind the stunt coordination of Barbie 2: Mars Mission. With a background in ballet, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and roller derby, Montgomery was uniquely qualified to handle the absurdly complex, hyper-aesthetic action sequences demanded by the script.
Her mantra?
“Every Barbie stunt should be equal parts poetry, physics, and pantsuit vengeance.”
From Corps de Ballet to Combat Commander
Cricket’s career started in the Houston Ballet, where she once pirouetted through a stage fire during The Nutcracker due to a pyrotechnics mix-up. She later joined a traveling MMA league called “Sashay Smash” before moving into film stunts. Barbie 2 was her big break.
FREE DOWNLOAD --> THE BARBIE SEQUAL SCRIPT
================================
The Martian High-Heel Fight Scene
The film’s climax involves Barbie battling six Martian overlords in a zero-gravity Senate chamber with a crystal lasso, a sequined riot shield, and platform boots powered by sass.
“We had to invent a whole new discipline: AstroFemme Kinetics.”
Key features of the scene:
-
Barbie disarms a telepath with a backbend wink
-
Uses a makeup compact to reflect a death beam into a mirror maze
-
Performs a 720º spin kick while reciting feminist theory and dodging glitter shrapnel
Wichita Falls Gets Kinetic
Cricket held stunt training camps in the parking lot of an abandoned Sears. Locals joined in:
-
The high school cheer team learned how to fall dramatically while holding pom-poms
-
Senior citizens practiced rolling walkers into Martian guards for comedic distraction
-
The mayor learned a two-step roundhouse
“This wasn’t just choreography. It was civic engagement.”
The “Ken Slam”
One sequence required Ryan Gosling to be launched from a rhinestone trebuchet into a Martian bunker while screaming, “I’m emotionally available!”
Cricket designed the mechanism using trampoline parts, old shopping carts, and a waterbed.
“He asked if we could rehearse it. I said no. Ken wouldn’t.”
Custom Safety Gear
Cricket worked with a local boutique to develop safety apparel:
-
Bubblewrap Bustiers
-
Helmet Hair (wig + helmet hybrid)
-
Heel-Stilts that auto-adjust to terrain and trauma
The gear has since been patented under the brand “Battle Barbie Wear™” and will debut at SXSW.
Local Impact: Stunt School Scholarships
Cricket launched a program for Wichita Falls youth called “Flip It Like Barbie”, teaching stunt skills, confidence, and how to fall gracefully from a metaphorical cliff.
One student, 10-year-old Lila Martinez, now somersaults into every classroom and refers to her homework as “the mission.”
Crisis on Set: The Glitter Fracture
During filming, a stunt double slipped on ambient sparkle fog, spraining a wrist. Cricket responded by banning dry glitter and requiring all sparkle be wet-applied or emotionally suspended.
“We don’t just manage risk. We choreograph it.”
Cricket’s Philosophy: Emotional Action
She believes every punch Barbie throws should:
-
Be rooted in character development
-
Leave a twinkle trail
-
Raise questions about gendered aggression in speculative societies
“Every fall is a metaphor. Every flip, a refusal.”
Barbie vs. Bourne
We asked: Could Barbie defeat Jason Bourne?
“In the first 7 minutes. And she’d do it while complimenting his turtleneck.”
The Barbie Brawl Index™
Cricket invented a scale to measure fight scene intensity:
-
1: Eye Roll with Sass
-
5: Confetti Grenade Evasion
-
10: Hairpin Disarm + Self-Esteem Monologue
Scene 54 ranks a 12: “Tutu Barrage with Existential Backhand.”
Locals Weigh In
“I got flipped over a rhinestone sandbag and landed on a foam cactus. Best Wednesday ever.” — Todd R., local janitor turned stunt background actor
“I punched a Martian in the face with a glitter glove. My therapist says I’m growing.” — Kiera W., substitute teacher
What’s Next for Cricket?
She’s opening a “Stunt & Empowerment Ranch” outside Wichita Falls:
-
Self-defense with hairbrushes
-
Confidence tumbles
-
“Smash the Patriarchy” obstacle course
Her upcoming book:
“Heel First: My Life in Stunts and Sparkle Violence”
Final Words
“If Barbie doesn’t kick butt in outer space, then what’s the point of gender progress?”
Originally posted 2025-07-05 20:58:13.